Each of us will likely encounter at least one woman this year who is considering an abortion. We will probably either be friends with her or she will be the friend of a friend. As I may have said before, we need to figure out and share creative, personal reasons with people as to why they should not have an abortion. Of course, a normal, often-heard reason is better than no reason at all! I’m just encouraging you to get creative, study the truth (like human development in the womb), find ultrasound pictures, do your research, and find stories to share. Learn to refute commonly-held myths about adoption. (See link before story below.) If the woman you know has been raped and is pregnant and you’ve never gone through that situation, try to find someone who has been there and made the right decision. Get their story or get your friend to talk to them. You should still personally help your friend see the truth, but try to find people who were once in her position and made the right choice.
Some people wonder…if I tell my friend she shouldn’t have an abortion and try to help her see why not, I’ll just push her away. No, in all reality, if you tell her the truth with urgency and with love and she rejects you, she’s the one pushing you away. You did what you could to rescue a baby about a die and a woman who’s life was about to be severely damaged. If your friend refuses to listen to what you have to say, and you wonder if you should let her parents, husband, boyfriend (or someone else) know about her pregnancy because you know they would help her keep the baby…DO IT. If you’re worried that your friend will accuse you of going behind her back and betraying her, tell her you love her too much to just sit back and watch her make an irreversible decision to kill her child and hurt herself.
No woman I know who chose to keep her child has ever regretted it. So incredibly many regret their abortions. Take this story for instance, reported in “You Can Stop Injustice” by Human Life Alliance. (Visit http://www.humanlife.org/stopinjustice.php to download your copy of the full publication which has great info on birth control, breast cancer and abortion, as well as adoption myths that many people falsely believe.)
I WAS 18 AND PREGNANT
I plead, “Please don’t make the same mistake I did.”
Since I had already enlisted in the Air Force, I thought I had to have an abortion in order to make something out of my life. My best friend drove me to the abortion clinic. It was like an assembly line. When the ultrasound was being performed, I asked to see it, but this wasn’t allowed. So much for “an informed decision.” Then I asked how far along I was. I was told I was nine-and-a-half weeks pregnant. That hit me hard. I started doubting and wanted to talk to my friend, but I wasn’t allowed to do that either.
When it was my turn, the nurse told me I was going to feel some discomfort, like strong menstrual cramps. The truth is that the abortion was more pain that I’ve ever felt in my life. It felt like my insides were literally being sucked out of my body. Later, I went into shock.
After the abortion, I tried to make up for it by trying to get pregnant again. I wanted my baby back, but I never got pregnant again. I don’t know if I can ever have another baby. I named my baby. Later I found out this is part of the grieving process.
Two-and-a-half years later, I ended up in the hospital with bullimia. I felt that no one had punished me for what I had done, so I was punishing myself. I was obsessed with women who were pregnant, and my life was in shambles! I was suffering from post-abortion trauma. When I was 21 years old, I received help from a woman who was involved with pro-life activism. I went through a program called “Conquerors.” Not only did I experience forgiveness, but I was challenged to help others. I answered the challenge and started sidewalk counseling.
There is a healing process that comes from getting involved in the pro-life movement. I talk to youth groups and students and share my testimony.
To them, and to you, I plead, “Please don’t make the same mistake I did.”