Posts Tagged ‘adoption’

Via Live Action News Note: If you are a father trying to stop an abortion, see this article. If you are a woman who is being pressured into an abortion, go here.

Parenting website Mommyish recently published an article advocating ten reasons (well, actually nine) to have an abortion. In response, I wrote a piece debunking the author’s arguments. Today, I will discuss ten reasons not to have an abortion.

1) It compounds tragedy.

Sometimes the circumstances surrounding a pregnancy are tragic. Perhaps the woman was raped. Maybe the baby has been diagnosed with a defect. Or the woman’s health might be at risk. However, one tragedy is not answered with another. We do not erase a rape by killing a child. We do not cure a baby by taking his life. And we do not avoid all health issues by avoiding the reality of another human being.

Women who have been raped must be compassionately cared for. But compassionate care does not include executing a woman’s child. Parents facing a difficult prenatal diagnosis must be given real facts and directed to others with helpful experiences. They must not be forced into a quick choice for abortion or urged to take the life of their child instead of giving her a chance to defy the odds. Women with high-risk pregnancies must be treated by real medical professionals. But treatment does not include intentionally killing a child. (If a child dies during the course of treating the woman – i.e., during chemotherapy for cancer, removal of an ectopic pregnancy, etc. – this is not an abortion.)


Baby toesThis morning, I read an excellent article about the effects of abortion on women, men, and other family members.  The author is correct when she recognizes that abortion has a ripple effect.  Not only does it end the life of an innocent human being; it also does major damage to the lives and relationships of many others…the mother, sometimes the father, a friend who encouraged the abortion, parents who were “almost-grandparents”, siblings who lost a brother or sister…the list goes on, as Jane Brennan points out.

I’d encourage you to read her poignant article, sharing her personal experience here:

Here is an excerpt of what Jane shares:  “The pain of abortion is a pain many women continue to suffer in isolation or silence. I recently compiled a book of women who have chosen abortion, and in their stories I see the same sorrow, pain, agony and guilt I felt that so often gets unreported amid the jumble of political rhetoric focused on rights. In one story, Marie shares: The despair deepened and turned quickly to depression. I remember sitting in the bathroom during a break at my summer job, seriously considering suicide. I could just take one of these box-cutters from the back room-end it all. Right here. Right now. “

Jane gives hope for healing to women who have already chosen abortion.  And to those who are on the brink of making their choice, she has some thoughts that cannot go unread.  For example:

“Today’s world is all about comfort, it’s all about “me.” Our society has convinced us of the “inconveniences” of life and that we need not endure them. Yet, I and so many others have learned that “inconvenience” builds character and makes us stronger. In fact, these “inconveniences” can even be better for us than the alternative.”

I agree wholeheartedly with Jane that we suffer from a culture of convenience.  Because we are often so busy looking at what we want in the here and now, we forget to have faith for the unseen blessings ahead.  Since we cannot see our unborn child, we choose to believe they must not be a real person.  The women who accidentally see the arms, legs, and heads of their aborted children after abortion are usually devasted for life.  Choosing convenience is weak.  Choosing to break out of our circumstances, even when it seems that we can’t, is a strong choice.  Strong women are built by hard choices that care for others.  Once we are pregnant, we have a duty to care for the small life developing under our heart.  Choosing life may be hard, but it is the best choice for everyone involved…

Here are resources to help women who have already had an abortion and for those who are pregnant and looking for help:

Post-Abortive Women:

Women Needing Help to Continue Their Pregnancies:

Note:  Some of these sites/resources claim that abortion or emergency contraceptives (chemical abortions) are options for women.  I disagree.  It should never be an option for us to intentionally kill an innocent little person.  However, these sites will point you to good resources and help in keeping your baby or choosing adoption.

baby stoner

MOM and BABY (istolethetv via Flickr)

Newborn child, seconds after birth. The umbili...

Image via Wikipedia

Each of us will likely encounter at least one woman this year who is considering an abortion.  We will probably either be friends with her or she will be the friend of a friend.  As I may have said before, we need to figure out and share creative, personal reasons with people as to why they should not have an abortion.  Of course, a normal, often-heard reason is better than no reason at all!  I’m just encouraging you to get creative, study the truth (like human development in the womb), find ultrasound pictures, do your research, and find stories to share.  Learn to refute commonly-held myths about adoption.  (See link before story below.)  If the woman you know has been raped and is pregnant and you’ve never gone through that situation, try to find someone who has been there and made the right decision.  Get their story or get your friend to talk to them.  You should still personally help your friend see the truth, but try to find people who were once in her position and made the right choice.

Some people wonder…if I tell my friend she shouldn’t have an abortion and try to help her see why not, I’ll just push her away.  No, in all reality, if you tell her the truth with urgency and with love and she rejects you, she’s the one pushing you away.  You did what you could to rescue a baby about a die and a woman who’s life was about to be severely damaged.  If your friend refuses to listen to what you have to say, and you wonder if you should let her parents, husband, boyfriend (or someone else) know about her pregnancy because you know they would help her keep the baby…DO IT.  If you’re worried that your friend will accuse you of going behind her back and betraying her, tell her you love her too much to just sit back and watch her make an irreversible decision to kill her child and hurt herself. 

No woman I know who chose to keep her child has ever regretted it.  So incredibly many regret their abortions.  Take this story for instance, reported in “You Can Stop Injustice” by Human Life Alliance.   (Visit to download your copy of the full publication which has great info on birth control, breast cancer and abortion, as well as adoption myths that many people falsely believe.)


I plead, “Please don’t make the same mistake I did.”

Since I had already enlisted in the Air Force, I thought I had to have an abortion in order to make something out of my life.  My best friend drove me to the abortion clinic.  It was like an assembly line.  When the ultrasound was being performed, I asked to see it, but this wasn’t allowed.  So much for “an informed decision.”  Then I asked how far along I was.  I was told I was nine-and-a-half weeks pregnant.  That hit me hard.  I started doubting and wanted to talk to my friend, but I wasn’t allowed to do that either.

When it was my turn, the nurse told me I was going to feel some discomfort, like strong menstrual cramps.  The truth is that the abortion was more pain that I’ve ever felt in my life.  It felt like my insides were literally being sucked out of my body.  Later, I went into shock. 

After the abortion, I tried to make up for it by trying to get pregnant again.  I wanted my baby back, but I never got pregnant again.  I don’t know if I can ever have another baby.  I named my baby.  Later I found out this is part of the grieving process.

Two-and-a-half years later, I ended up in the hospital with bullimia.  I felt that no one had punished me for what I had done, so I was punishing myself.  I was obsessed with women who were pregnant, and my life was in shambles!  I was suffering from post-abortion trauma.  When I was 21 years old, I received help from a woman who was involved with pro-life activism.  I went through a program called “Conquerors.”  Not only did I experience forgiveness, but I was challenged to help others.  I answered the challenge and started sidewalk counseling.

There is a healing process that comes from getting involved in the pro-life movement.  I talk to youth groups and students and share my testimony. 

To them, and to you, I plead, “Please don’t make the same mistake I did.”


**If you are a girl or woman who is being pressured or threatened into having an abortion, please read this article.

**If you are a guy who is trying to stop an abortion, please read this article. (Some of the info in this article may also help parents or friends who are trying to stop an abortion.)

**I also recently wrote an article called “10 Reasons Not to Have an Abortion” that you might find helpful. Please check it out and let me know your thoughts.

Seems there are so many reasons out there today justifying abortions; giving reasons why women should be encouraged to have them; explaining why they’re not so bad after all.  And many of the reasons out there for why we should NOT have an abortion are long, drawn out, not persuasive, and admittedly preachy.  I’d certainly agree that God uses different statements and reasons to touch different people’s hearts…no doubt about it.  So please don’t take this post as saying that we shouldn’t keep telling people that every new baby is a special creation of God.  We should.  Some people may even need to hear that if they have an abortion, they’re murdering their child; a unique human being with the same right to live that each of us enjoy.  However, is calling someone a murderer the best way to convince them to save their child from death and themselves from emotional and probable physical trauma?  Not always…

So here’s THE CHALLENGE:  What are three unique reasons you can think of not to have an abortion?  Think of persuading people gently…but not too gently =)  We still have to speak the truth!  We just must remember to speak it in love.  We absolutely want to save every child’s life!!!  But we also absolutely want to save every woman (and man that’s involved) from a lifetime of irreversible hurt.

I’ll start off with a few reasons and resources to back them up.  Please send me YOUR THOUGHTS!!!

1)  Someone else out there would love to adopt your child and give her a wonderful home…a home that you can choose!  I have not had personal interaction with this organization, but I have heard they do good work.  There are certainly other great adoption agencies out there.

2)  You’re not alone!  Other women have been where you are and they have made a different choice. and

3)  Giving life to a child makes you a hero.  A nine-month sacrifice of your body is totally worth it to let another precious life have a chance to impact and change our world. and

4)  Late term abortions are absolutely awful.  Early abortions are awful.  All abortions are awful.  Have you ever read a description of exactly what happens during an abortion?  Go here to find out.

5)  Many former abortion doctors and Planned Parenthood workers are leaving their jobs because of what they see.  (Read UnPlanned by Abby Johnson who gave up being a PP director after seeing an ultrasound). 

  • Dr. Brewer:  “I can remember…the resident doctor sitting down, putting the tube in, and removing the contents.  I saw the bloody material coming down the plastic tube, and it went into a big jar.  My job afterwards was to go and undo the jar, and to see what was inside….I opened the sock up and put it on the towel, and there were parts of a person in there.  I had taken anatomy, I was a medical student.  I knew what I was looking at.  There was a little scapula and an arm.  I saw some ribs and a chest, and a little tiny head.  I saw a piece of a leg, and a tiny hand and an arm, and you know, it was like somebody put a hot poker into me.  I had a conscience, and it hurt.” [1]
  • “I remember seeing the baby move underneath the sack of membranes as the caesarean incision was made, before the doctor broke the water.  The thought came to me, ‘My God, that’s a person.’“[1]
  • Dr. Nathanson:  “[A]s a result of all this technology—looking at this baby, examining it, investigating it, watching its metabolic functions, watching it urinate, swallow, move and sleep, watching it dream…treating it, operating on it—I finally came to the conviction that this was my patient.  This was a person!  I was a physician, pledged to save my patients’ lives, not to destroy them.  So I changed my mind on the subject of abortion.”[1]
  • Dr. Bruner:  “Instead of some mysterious thing inside her belly, a mother and her family can now identify a little human being.”
  • Dr Levantino:  “I’ll tell you one thing about D&E…You never have to worry about a baby’s being born alive.  I won’t describe D&E other than to say that, as a doctor, you are sitting there tearing, and I mean tearing—you need a lot of strength to do it—arms and legs off of babies and putting them in a stack on top of a table.”[1]
  • OB/GYN Staffer Henry:  “The saline, a salt solution, is injected into the woman’s sac and the baby swallows it.  The baby starts dying a slow, violent death.  The mother feels everything, and many times it is at this point when she realizes that she really has a live baby inside of her because the baby starts fighting violently for his or her life.  He’s just fighting inside because he’s burning.”[1]

[1] See David Kupelian & Mark Masters, Abortionist Whistleblowers Tell All, WHISTLEBLOWER, Jan. 2003 8,(emphasis in original).


Photo from this site, with more info about this little baby.

Photo from this site, with more info about this little baby.

If you’re a woman considering abortion, please consider that you have other options. I know, you’ve probably heard that. But please read on. Abortion – no matter how great it seems in the moment – is a decision with very lasting and painful effects. Read what other women have to say about it! Please at least go to this site, where you will find a helpline, a way to chat online, or a way to email someone who can help you. Or, the site can help you find a pregnancy resource center in your area where you can go for emotional and material support, as well as often a free ultrasound – which you should totally see!

You can also comment on this article – I’ll see it before anyone else does – and I’ll be happy to email you back and help you however I can. Also, please consider that every woman should know the truth about abortion before she ever has one. Go here to see a video (or here – and read the description below the video!). Go here to read about abortion. Please be informed.

A 4-D ultrasound photo of a baby at 8 weeks…check out more photos at this link. Amazing!!

You can also read this article or this one if you’re wondering why not to have an abortion. There are literally at least 101 reasons! At least check it out! A baby is a baby from the very beginning – her heart is beating at only 21 or 22 days! His brain waves can be read at only 6 weeks! And her little heart is crying out for you – her mother – to love her and give her the precious gift of life. I’m here for you, and so are many others – really. If you’re a dad who needs help, check out this advice article, and feel free to contact me.