**If you are a girl or woman who is being pressured or threatened into having an abortion, please read this article.
**If you are a guy who is trying to stop an abortion, please read this article. (Some of the info in this article may also help parents or friends who are trying to stop an abortion.)
**I also recently wrote an article called “10 Reasons Not to Have an Abortion” that you might find helpful. Please check it out and let me know your thoughts.
Seems there are so many reasons out there today justifying abortions; giving reasons why women should be encouraged to have them; explaining why they’re not so bad after all. And many of the reasons out there for why we should NOT have an abortion are long, drawn out, not persuasive, and admittedly preachy. I’d certainly agree that God uses different statements and reasons to touch different people’s hearts…no doubt about it. So please don’t take this post as saying that we shouldn’t keep telling people that every new baby is a special creation of God. We should. Some people may even need to hear that if they have an abortion, they’re murdering their child; a unique human being with the same right to live that each of us enjoy. However, is calling someone a murderer the best way to convince them to save their child from death and themselves from emotional and probable physical trauma? Not always…
So here’s THE CHALLENGE: What are three unique reasons you can think of not to have an abortion? Think of persuading people gently…but not too gently =) We still have to speak the truth! We just must remember to speak it in love. We absolutely want to save every child’s life!!! But we also absolutely want to save every woman (and man that’s involved) from a lifetime of irreversible hurt.
I’ll start off with a few reasons and resources to back them up. Please send me YOUR THOUGHTS!!!
1) Someone else out there would love to adopt your child and give her a wonderful home…a home that you can choose! http://www.bethany.org/ I have not had personal interaction with this organization, but I have heard they do good work. There are certainly other great adoption agencies out there.
2) You’re not alone! Other women have been where you are and they have made a different choice. www.standupgirl.com and www.pregnancyline.com.
3) Giving life to a child makes you a hero. A nine-month sacrifice of your body is totally worth it to let another precious life have a chance to impact and change our world. http://www.virtuemedia.org/ and www.standupgirl.com.
4) Late term abortions are absolutely awful. Early abortions are awful. All abortions are awful. Have you ever read a description of exactly what happens during an abortion? Go here to find out.
5) Many former abortion doctors and Planned Parenthood workers are leaving their jobs because of what they see. (Read UnPlanned by Abby Johnson who gave up being a PP director after seeing an ultrasound).
- Dr. Brewer: “I can remember…the resident doctor sitting down, putting the tube in, and removing the contents. I saw the bloody material coming down the plastic tube, and it went into a big jar. My job afterwards was to go and undo the jar, and to see what was inside….I opened the sock up and put it on the towel, and there were parts of a person in there. I had taken anatomy, I was a medical student. I knew what I was looking at. There was a little scapula and an arm. I saw some ribs and a chest, and a little tiny head. I saw a piece of a leg, and a tiny hand and an arm, and you know, it was like somebody put a hot poker into me. I had a conscience, and it hurt.” [1]
- “I remember seeing the baby move underneath the sack of membranes as the caesarean incision was made, before the doctor broke the water. The thought came to me, ‘My God, that’s a person.’“[1]
- Dr. Nathanson: “[A]s a result of all this technology—looking at this baby, examining it, investigating it, watching its metabolic functions, watching it urinate, swallow, move and sleep, watching it dream…treating it, operating on it—I finally came to the conviction that this was my patient. This was a person! I was a physician, pledged to save my patients’ lives, not to destroy them. So I changed my mind on the subject of abortion.”[1]
- Dr. Bruner: “Instead of some mysterious thing inside her belly, a mother and her family can now identify a little human being.”
- Dr Levantino: “I’ll tell you one thing about D&E…You never have to worry about a baby’s being born alive. I won’t describe D&E other than to say that, as a doctor, you are sitting there tearing, and I mean tearing—you need a lot of strength to do it—arms and legs off of babies and putting them in a stack on top of a table.”[1]
- OB/GYN Staffer Henry: “The saline, a salt solution, is injected into the woman’s sac and the baby swallows it. The baby starts dying a slow, violent death. The mother feels everything, and many times it is at this point when she realizes that she really has a live baby inside of her because the baby starts fighting violently for his or her life. He’s just fighting inside because he’s burning.”[1]
IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT ABORTION
Photo from this site, with more info about this little baby.
If you’re a woman considering abortion, please consider that you have other options. I know, you’ve probably heard that. But please read on. Abortion – no matter how great it seems in the moment – is a decision with very lasting and painful effects. Read what other women have to say about it! Please at least go to this site, where you will find a helpline, a way to chat online, or a way to email someone who can help you. Or, the site can help you find a pregnancy resource center in your area where you can go for emotional and material support, as well as often a free ultrasound – which you should totally see!
You can also comment on this article – I’ll see it before anyone else does – and I’ll be happy to email you back and help you however I can. Also, please consider that every woman should know the truth about abortion before she ever has one. Go here to see a video (or here – and read the description below the video!). Go here to read about abortion. Please be informed.
A 4-D ultrasound photo of a baby at 8 weeks…check out more photos at this link. Amazing!!
You can also read this article or this one if you’re wondering why not to have an abortion. There are literally at least 101 reasons! At least check it out! A baby is a baby from the very beginning – her heart is beating at only 21 or 22 days! His brain waves can be read at only 6 weeks! And her little heart is crying out for you – her mother – to love her and give her the precious gift of life. I’m here for you, and so are many others – really. If you’re a dad who needs help, check out this advice article, and feel free to contact me.
The Lost Generation 
Thanks to this site, I now have helpful resources for my pro-life argument for my VERY pro-choice oriented English class. THANKS!
In God I Trust,
Bethany
My sister just found out she is pregnant with her second child. She is planning to have an abortion. She was pro-life until her boyfriend told her he didn’t want to be a father. Now a life is going to be terminated because of him. I know that it’s not my decision what she does with her body or the life growing within it but I don’t think I can forgive her for this. I can’t have kids so it really bothers me that people who can choose abortions over adoption. I never thought that my sister would do something like this. I’m really praying that she will realize what she is doing and decides not to go through with it.
Sam, I’m so sorry to hear your story. If there’s anything I could do to help please let me know. I know great people who want to adopt and also a really cool “counselor” lady who talks to women in these situations. She would talk to you or your sister and I would too of you think it would help. It’s also sad cause a lot of guys who don’t want their baby end up dumping the girl too. Abortion hurts relationships big time! It does not help no matter if one partner says they want it or not. Statistically abortion is a big cause of destroyed relationships. I am sure you are doing a great job talking to your sister. I’ll be praying for all of you. Another option is a crisis pregnancy center if your sister would go there first or get an ultrasound and hear the heartbeat of her baby. I can recommend places like that also. It’s just so sad when women let someone else like a boyfriend, parent, friend, or husband make a decision to kill their baby. As I said so often those relationships go away or are damaged anyway and the woman is left to deal with the pain of an abortion…especially when she knew the truth in her heart as your sister does. Don’t give up yet! Keep talking to her and help her remember what she already knows. And see if she’ll get help or another opinion from someone else who knows the truth too… Hang in there. Soo sorry! Hugs and prayers to you
Maybe also your sister would be willing to read some material…like my post on 101 reasons not to have an abortion or the post you read. Maybe she would look at some pics of an unborn baby the same age as her baby… Again just let me know how I can help.
Did she go through with it??? I’m in a similar situation…
Shawna, I’m sure you can see the comments I wrote to Sam, but let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you. You may also find some helpful resources in an article I wrote earlier this year: http://liveactionnews.org/abortion-and-men-whats-a-father-to-do/. I know it says it’s for dads, but you may find something in there for your situation as well.
what did she end up doing?
Or Randy Alcorn has written a book Why Pro Life? that you can get as a free e-book online. Your sister may connect with that since she was pro life before this. It may also help you help her. The only thing I don’t like about 101 reasons not to have an abortion is that it still makes it sound like a woman can still choose an abortion, despite the convincing reasons not to. But the reasons it lists are pretty amazing!!
I can’t get her to talk about it or read anything. Now, she wants me to keep the pregnancy a secret because everyone in our family is pro-life. So are the people in her boyfriends family. She actually said that she would rather have had cancer than be pregnant. I want to thank you for replying to me because I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this.
Youre definitely welcome! Again, I’m so sorry. Of course it’s up to you, but I’ve seen it’s usually not best to keep secrets like these kind. Telling others can make people mad, obviously, but when you tell others who love and care about your sister and her boyfriend, you actually have their best interest in mind. You are doing your best to save the baby and if she doesn’t change her mind it’s not your fault. You are fighting to save a life and in some way, God does honor that. I’m praying for you!!
I wanted to let you know that after a talk with my sister she changed her mind. Unfortunately, at her check-up today she found out that she had miscarried.
Nevermind. She lied to me. Made me watch her daughter while she went to get an abortion. She thinks I don’t know but I do. Now I don’t even want to be in the same room as her.
I’m so so sorry. You did the best you could. It’s not your fault, but I truly am sorry.
Stand by that. Hatred is an ugly thing, but murder is far uglier. She should be shunned for murdering her own child. My mother married my abusive father to keep me. (She was still in college when I was conceived.) Please do your best to let her know that this changes things and that you can never look at her again without seeing a murdering, selfish liar.
Hi, I just wanted to say that this helped me so much! I’m doing an essay on why women shouldn’t turn to abortion for english class. And this gave me so many tips and you really turned me in the right direction! Thank you!(:
i would never adopt out. i would abort. no way anyone else is getting a baby from me
Ahh…so you would rather kill your child than let anyone who would love and care for her have her??
My Boyfriend and I just found out were pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for 4 years. But he’s leaving for collage in 2 months. He told me that abortion was our only chose because he’s leaving. I don’t believe in abortion at all, but I feel like I’m being pressured into it. And it’s not like I can just stop talking to him and do what I want to do, because I really do love him. I’m just really confused and scared and he won’t let me tell anyone. I just need a little advice if possible it would be very appreciated 🙂
Dear Amanda,
Thank you so much for taking the time to write. I really feel bad for you. I’m sure you do love your boyfriend, and you two have obviously been together for quite awhile! I’ve known my husband for 4 1/2 years, actually, and we have a baby girl.
Since you asked for some advice, here it is: No matter what your boyfriend says, YOU are your baby’s mother. You have a responsibility to love that baby and give him or her life no matter what anyone else tells you or tries to make you do. You have the right to tell anyone you want who you think can help you about your baby. He cannot force you to be quiet.
Going away to college is not a good reason to kill a baby. MANY people go to college and have babies. That little baby will never come back – this is a one time chance to have THIS baby, created from two people who love each other.
Often, when people love each other and get an abortion, their relationship is either ruined or never the same again. Not saying that would happen to you – but the odds are highly in favor of that. And that’s sad. But it makes sense – when a new little person who is a part of both of you has been killed by both of you, how can you relate to each other the same again?
You said you don’t want an abortion. So listen to yourself. If you get one you will regret it, because you know it’s wrong. Don’t let yourself be controlled by someone else, even someone you love. Love that baby! Give that baby – YOUR baby – a chance at life.
Many, many times, guys come around and love their little baby to pieces once he or she is born. Again, no guarantees, but it does happen! Some people just respond badly at first when they are faced with a surprise. But no matter if he comes around or not, you should be willing to give life to your baby no matter what. Your baby was not an accident. He or she is here for a reason, for a purpose, and he or she will bless your life in amazing ways that you’d never expect if you choose life. If you’d like to hear about other girls in situations like you or get advice from someone who’s actually BEEN there, look at this really amazing website: http://iembracegraceblog.com/. You will LOVE it!!! You can also email Amy, the girl who created the site at amy.ford@iembracegrace.com. She’s a really cool lady, and she has some great advice.
I hope this helps you! I can also give you info of pregnancy resources centers that can offer you a lot of help in your area. Usually they also give free ultrasounds so you can see your baby. Your boyfriend might even like to do this – ultrasounds change peoples minds a lot of times. Again, you are your baby’s mother, no matter what he says, but if you can get him on board, too, it would be a great situation for all three of you! Please let me know what else I can do for you.
Hugs, Kristi
Amanda, I’m so sorry to read about what you’re going through. I can only imagine how difficult it must be.
I know this is a bad situation, but I want you to understand that no one can force you to get an abortion.
If you feel like you are being forced, you need to get help from friends and family. If you can’t turn to them, you can contact the police.
Forcing someone to have an abortion is illegal. No one can make you do this. If anyone takes you to an abortion clinic against your will, you can call 911. This is kidnapping and it is illegal.
If you are afraid your boyfriend will leave you if you don’t abort, I can tell you that does sometimes happen. But often couples are able to work it out.
The truth is this: you are a mother now. And you always will be. Having an abortion will not make you stop being a mother. It will make you a mother who lost her child.
Now that you are a mother, you have the responsibility to protect your child from everyone and everything that might harm him or her.
There are most likely pregnancy centers near you where you can go get help. They can let you see your baby on a sonogram for free, and help you with the situation with your boyfriend. It costs nothing.
Being a mother can be very difficult but it is also the most amazing thing in the world. Almost all women regret abortion. Almost no women regret their children.
I’m hoping and praying you get the help you need and make the right decision for you and your baby.
Hello! I am writing an essay on Adoption over Abortion and finding this site was very helpful to me. Just like you I am Pro Life no matter what. I have even decided to follow your blog. Thank you for being the voice of reason for so many people.
What about for health reasons? I’m about 5.5 weeks pregnant. My daughter is 8 months old. I just left an abusive relationship and am having MAJOR health problems, it’s amazing that I even got pregnant. I took plan B two days after and I still got pregnant. It’s hard enough for me to take care of my baby (no support system here) on my own, let alone be pregnant again – plus there is the real possibility that it will kill me or the baby. My last pregnancy was very high risk and it was before I had these health problems. I am 39 and not sure what to do.
Hi ViennasMommy,
Thanks so much for writing. I also have a little daughter – aren’t they the best?! I’m so sorry for your abusive relationship and health problems. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now. I think anyone would feel very overwhelmed in your situation, without a doubt. You’re right that it’s amazing you’re pregnant right now. Personally, I think there is a reason for that. Pregnancy doesn’t just “happen,” as you know. The odds are often against getting pregnant, especially in situations like yours. I believe your new baby is still alive right now for a reason. I know this is kind of a rabbit trail, but interestingly, there are plenty of famous people whose mothers had no idea why they were pregnant with them – or were in situations were a pregnancy wasn’t the best idea – but they kept their babies and later found out exactly how much that child meant to them. For example, Beethoven’s mother was married to a man who cheated on her and had gonoreeha. She already had babies who were blind or had tuberculosis. She herself had extensive health issues. Yet she kept her baby. I guess the point is that I believe we have the children we have for a reason – because we need them, even if we don’t know why now.
If you feel like it, I’d really encourage you to watch the movie Bella. It’s about a woman who struggles with what she should do while she’s pregnant. I sooo wish you could see a short film called Crescendo, but it’s DVD release is still to be determined. It’s amazing and it’s about a woman in a situation a lot like yours – abusive partner, pregnant, and a baby who has so far survived against the odds. I think you’d connect with her story so much.
Anyway, I’d really encourage you to believe that you still have your baby for a reason. Your baby needs a mother – you – to love them. Your hard situation isn’t your baby’s fault, as I know you know. That baby simply needs love and a chance to live like you gave to your daughter. As far as your health issues, they are clearly important, too. Your life is incredibly important. I’d recommend finding a pro-life doctor and sharing your concerns. Often, if you get good health care throughout the pregnancy, they can avoid or manage your health issues.
Obviously, I don’t know your specific issues and I’m not a medical doctor, but I’d recommend finding a doctor who can care for you and your baby. I’ve read a book by an abortion doctor who says that women no longer need abortions to save their lives because the current level of care for pregnant women is so high. I’m sure a good doctor could work out a plan of care for you and your baby. If you let me know the area you live in, I could find a pregnancy resource center for you. They could most likely recommend a good doctor in your area, get you a free ultrasound, and help in other ways like getting you a support system. Please let me know how I can help in any way. I want to be here for you, and I will be praying for both you and your baby. Thanks again for writing. With love, Kristi
I am against abortion no matter what the circumstances are. I believe that EVERY child is a gift from God. I am only 17, but I have seen enough pictures and read enough articles to be pro-life.
It’s awful, abortion. I’m 16, and we are doing an essay on abortion rights, and I believe that it’s truly horrible. I was reading some of the Doctors examples and I had tears coming down my face, my friend also. It’s murder, and it makes me sick to think about something like that. If anybody was thinking of having an abortion I’d try so hard to talk them out of it. God created that child and that child should have a right to live. Thankyou so much for the help.
Shannon
Hi
I am a 17 year old girl and I’m pregnant (6 weeks I think, havent seen a doc yet)…I NEED an abortion, it really makes me well…mad that you are all looking down on these women and girls who are in the same position as I am…I’m not evil, I’m not a murderer..but I can’t have a baby, my mother can’t find out. I need to have an abortion..
Its not like this is EASY…its hard and its really sad, but sometimes these things need to be done. Its just disappointing that all the commenters have this high and mighty attitude about this stuff. Its easy to SAY what you would do in a situation, but it changes when it happens to you..
just think about it next time, thats all.
Hi Emily,
Thanks for writing. I’d like to share with you that I really don’t look down on you or girls or women in your position. And most of the people I work with on pro-life stuff don’t look down on you either. We think abortion is super sad, for women and for babies, and for whole families. I also don’t think you’re evil. It is true, though, that abortion is killing a living, innocent baby who simply needs to be loved and given a chance at life. And nothing can change that abortion murders a tiny baby.
I’m sure you are in a really hard situation, and I’m really sorry that you feel like you can’t tell your mom. I hope you know that there are people out there who would really help you and stand by you. You say that you know this is hard and sad – you’re right, abortion is hard and sad and it only gets worse after the abortion. Once you have an abortion, you can never take back that you killed your child. That’s irreversible, and you never get the chance with that baby again.
I’d beg you to reconsider. To realize that your baby so needs and wants your love. Your baby needs this more than you need an abortion. Only you can give your baby the life he or she needs so badly. I’d beg you to give your baby that life. When else will one person’s life be in your hands; when else will you be the one who can decide to let an innocent person live or die? I know it’s hard to do hard and sad things, especially if you know others will be mad or mean to you. But I believe that you are strong enough to let your baby live anyway.
I had my first – and only so far – baby two years ago. I never knew how much it was possible to love and how much someone could love you, unconditionally, no matter what you do until my daughter was laid on my chest. I pray you don’t miss that moment. One of my best friends, actually, was faced with a situation similar to yours. She was very young and pregnant outside of marriage. She was afraid to tell her mom and her sisters. She was afraid about what her boyfriend’s parents would say or do when they found out. Pretty much everyone told her she needed to get an abortion. Several of her friends had already had abortions. Most girls in her situation would have definitely considered one. She had just been accepted into her dream school. But she didn’t do it. She kept her baby boy – and he is one of the most amazing babies I have ever met. His name is Eli, and he is the joy of her life. She tells everyone that she would never trade him for anything, and that no matter how hard her situation was and no matter how much people told her it pointed to abortion, she would keep him all over again. He was worth every hard thing and everything she had to give up.
Please Emily, please reconsider. Your baby already has a heartbeat that you can hear and see on an ultrasound. Your baby’s brain waves can already be measured. Your baby has lips already and his or her fingernails are forming. In just one more week, your baby will start kicking and swimming. Your baby is alive and desperately needs your love and the chance to live. If you need to know of a place where you can go for a free ultrasound or someone to talk to there are pregnancy resource centers in your area I can find for you. I’m happy to do that. I know people – including my husband and me – who would gladly take your baby. Actually, if you chose adoption, you can handpick the parents and have all your medical and pregnancy expenses paid for. I’m sure if you keep your baby you will be an awesome mom. I’m certain you would be.
Feel free to write me back Emily. I’m happy to talk, and I promise I don’t look down on you. I’m here to help in any way I can. Please at least go get an ultrasound and listen to your baby’s heartbeat before you decide anything.
With a hug,
Kristi
Emily, I was in your situation not to long ago. Where I didn’t want to tell my mom. I know that your situation is probley much different, but I just want you to know your not alone. I even went with my ex-boyfriend (the father of my daughter) to the first appointment to get an abortion. But as soon as I heard her heart beat I knew I couldn’t do it. My boyfriend pressured me but I knew that no matter what even if I gave her up for adoption at least she would be alive. I completly understand where your coming from with knowing your mom can’t know. I didn’t want my mom to know either and I hid my pregnecy from my parents actually till about a few weeks ago. (I’m 6 months pregent now). It didn’t go well, so I understand how hard it is. I’m not even on speaking terms with my parents. But atleast I know that my daughter will have my love no matter what. My ex is bearly in the picture only coming around when he feels like it. The are places that can help you. my advice would be to at least hear your baby’s heart beat. Belive me it is probley the most amazing thing I have ever exsperinced and the reason I am now going to raise my daughter on my own with out my parents or her dad. Belive me I know this is hard and it will be the hardest desison you ever make. But I promise you if you do do this your not evil, I know your scared. I was so scared and my ex wouldnt even let me tell my friends. I felt so alone, but when I finaly told them I got so much support and my best friend even went with me to tell my parents. Sometimes you need that buffer. I am a little older than you I just turned 20, but I did live at home so I understand. I know you have probley thought about this for a long and hard. But As I said before I would atleast listen to your baby’s heart beat. That literly chanced my mind completly. I’m here I you need to talk to someone.
Amanda
wow sitting here reading everyones thoughts is crazy b/c i mean abortion is like super stressful and i wouldn’t do it at all. most people don’t understand that abortion is a very bad thing to do. for one most people who do have an abortion barely can get pregnant again. but i know where and what all of you are saying but like you have to look at it you is killing someone who you have inside of you like you can’t sit here and cry and complain about being pregnant b/c you the one who laid down there and got pregnant so you should be woman about it and take care of your responsibility like you all know what you was doing it isn’t a surprise or shocking b/c you knew what you was getting into when you did it that’s why i say people shouldn’t have abortions b/c its no reason for all of that
Tasha
amen
[…] more info on abortion, the risks, and the realities? Check out this article, this site, and this awesome […]
Hi my name is Nicole I’m currently 17 turning 18 I recently took two digital pregnancy test and both were positive.I’ve thought about abortion for many reasons.I don’t know if i could go though with it though.I’m not ready to have a child,plus if my parents find out I’m kicked out..I’m barely getting though highschool and I have no job and my boyfriend is not wanting to get a abortion because of religion.I’m in all different directions on this topic
Please help
Hi Nicole,
I’ll send you an email, too, but I’m here to help you. Please let me know what you need. I’m happy to connect you with pregnancy resource centers in your area – they have women you can talk to confidentially – many who were once in a similar situation to you. They can also help you get medical help, baby supplies, and sometimes they even offer financial or school help. I will say that it is great if your boyfriend is willing to support you – a lot of girls don’t have that at all. The last girl I talked to who chose to keep her baby didn’t have much support, but she was strong for her baby anyway and kept her. She’s having a little girl.
Also, I’d of course really encourage you not to get an abortion. I know it can be really, really hard to imagine yourself as a mother when you’re not expecting that, but right now, you are the ONLY PERSON who can give your baby life. You are the only one who can give your baby a chance. Of course, if you decided you would rather look into adoption, there are plenty of couples out there who you can handpick who will pay for all your pregnancy expenses. Just to throw that out there as one option…
But back to abortion. It’s amazing to me how many young girls are stronger than they think they are when they find out they are pregnant. No matter what your circumstances, you can choose to be stronger than them and give your baby life. I’m really sorry you have to deal with what you think your parents would do though. That’s sad. Some parents really do come around and support their daughters, but you know them better than me, of course. You can find support in other ways and from other people though.
You might like to read some stories from girls about your age who found themselves pregnant, too, on this website: http://iembracegrace.com/index2.php#/home/. Or this site is cool for teen girls who are pregnant: http://www.tmcint.org/. And if you go to this post on my blog, you will find “Stand Up Girls” and a paper called “101 Reasons Not to Have Abortions: A Girl’s Guide to Informed Choices”. It has some true stories, too. Here’s the link to my post on that: https://thelostgenerations.wordpress.com/2011/11/23/suffering-from-a-culture-of-convenience/. I thought I’d share these with you so you can read about or hear from more people than just me =)
Here are a couple sites where teens who chose abortion wrote and told about their experiences. I thought you might like to read some of them: http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm?start=3 And this one does the same thing, with different stories: http://teenabortionissues.com/. I think it can be very powerful to hear from people your own age, who are struggling through similar circumstances or feelings.
Here’s also a video called “The Silent Scream” that shows what many babies go through in an abortion: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gON-8PP6zgQ. It’s terribly sad, and it shows the baby trying to run away from the suction instrument that the doctor uses to tear the baby apart.
Anyway, Nicole, just let me know what you need. I can email you pictures of babies at different stages of development, tell you what they can do – it’s pretty amazing, show you studies that tell what happens to girls and women after abortions, put you in touch with people in your area who can help. Really anything. Please let me know.
With a hug,
Kristi
Please excuse my auto correcting on *though*
Hey, are all you pro-lifers going to pay for the next five years of day care and my living expenses while I raise my child again until I can get a job at 41 years of age? No? Didn’t think so. If I decided to keep this baby I would be unable to get a job because no one would hire someone who is pregnant and then I would have to raise it by myself on no income for the next five years and that is assuming I can get a job after the five years is up and the child can finally go to school. And NO, I am not carrying a child for 9 months just to give it up for all of you that can’t have children.
Hi JAI,
Thanks for writing. Actually, yes, there are definitely pro-lifers who would either help pay for your expenses, help you sign up for the right government programs to help you get what you need, or volunteer to give you free child care and baby supplies. I can put you in touch with a pregnancy resource center in your area if you’re interested in finding out more about the resources that pro-lifers would give you or help you get. I really hope you consider this. Perhaps you could even get a job after the baby is born and, in the meantime, get the resources you need. Once you have a job,there are often pro-life people who would watch your baby for free and some pregnancy centers will continue to give you formula, diapers, etc. THere’s always WIC too – a government program intended to provide extra food and supplies for women with infants and children. A pregnancy center could help you find out more about this. Please consider these options as an alternative to abortion. I’m sure your baby would much rather be alive and possibly poor or struggling to make it than dead.
Perhaps you’d be interested in reading the stories of women who’ve had abortions: http://www.gargaro.com/regrets.html and http://silentnomoreawareness.org/testimonies/index.aspx. Also, here is a video that shows what abortion is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gON-8PP6zgQ and it also shows how babies can try to run away from an abortion because they sense what is happening to them. Here are some awesome 4D ultrasound pics of what babies look like at different stages: http://prolifeamerica.com/4D-Ultrasound-pictures/ and here is a fact sheet on fetal development (it’s amazing what babies can do so early on!) http://www.nrlc.org/abortion/facts/fetaldevelopment.html.
Please let me know if you’d like to contact any resource centers in your area or if there’s anything else I can help you find. I’ll also email this to you to make sure you get it.
With a hug,
Kristi
I hope you will reconsider. As Kristi has mentioned, there actually is SO much help available for you and your child. You don’t have to go through it alone.
I would just like to add, as someone who is trying to conceive and finding it more difficult than I thought, I would give anything for the gift you have, and so would many couples.
Adoption is not easy on a birth mother, but women do it because they would much rather give their child a chance at a good and happy life than have their child killed. It is a selfless act that saves a life and gives an amazing gift to a deserving couple. It is an act only a mother can make.
I will pray for you and your baby.
Im pregnant, 8 weeks and my boyfriend of 3 months is making me have an abortion this Friday. I have done everything in my power to convince him that its terrible but he wont listen to me.
Hi Sharni,
Thanks for writing. I’m so sorry you’re going through such a difficult situation. Please know that there are SO MANY people out there who would be willing to help you in any way. NO ONE can force you to get an abortion. If you don’t want to get one, your boyfriend can’t make you. I don’t know if you’re in a domestic violence situation or something similar that makes it hard for you to leave, but I am more than happy to put you in touch with people who would help you get out and/or make your own decision to keep your baby.
I’m going to email you, too, to make sure we get in touch, but here are a few hotlines that will help you: 866-889-6626 (http://pregnancyline.com/) is the number for PregnancyLine. They can put you in touch with pregnancy resource centers in your area and also give you advice about what to do since your boyfriend is trying to force you to have an abortion. Tell them that, and they can help you. There’s also 800-395-HELP (http://www.thecrisispregnancycenterct.org/index.htm) another hotline there to help. You can also call 1-800-799-7233 for a domestic abuse hotline (http://www.thehotline.org/). Sorry if that’s not what you’re facing – I just want you to have the options you need to stop your boyfriend from forcing you. You can also just report this whole situation to the police, and they can give you advice. The bottom line is that NO ONE is allowed to force you to get an abortion. That is illegal and just plain out wrong, as I know you already know.
As you know, YOU are your child’s mother and YOU are the final one who can choose life. You are probably feeling helpless right now, but your baby is even more helpless and desperately needs you to refuse the abortion. I’m sure you are trying HARD, so please get the help you need. I hope you don’t actually end up at the abortion clinic, but if you do, tell them directly that you are being forced to have an abortion and you do not want one. They are not allowed to give you one in that case. Some of them are pretty bad and do it anyway or try to talk you into it, but just stand firm and tell them you refuse and are being forced. Again, I’m SO SORRY you are facing this, and I will find you any info you need to stop this from happening and to stop you from ending up at the clinic. Please let me know what I can do, and please reach out to the hotlines. I can also locate a pregnancy center for you in your area if you’d like. They would probably have other helpful ideas for you.
With a hug,
Kristi
Hi Sharni,
I would add to what Kristi said, but she hit the nail on the head. I know how hard it can be when you’re being pressured, but please know that he cannot force you to do ANYTHING. Kristi gave you a lot of good resources and ideas already, so I’m just going to leave you a message of support. I’ll be thinking about and praying for you.
Hi, Shami!
I just want to address what some other commenters have mentioned: you cannot be forced to have an abortion. It is against the law. If someone starts taking you to an abortion clinic against your will, you can call 911. This is kidnapping.
You are in such a difficult situation. You are a mother now, forever, and it’s up to you to protect your child. I know that is probably mind-blowing, but it is the truth.
Bottom line: this is not your boyfriend’s decision. You posted here because you have a maternal instinct telling you your baby is in danger. It’s obvious that deep down you know you need to protect your child – and yourself.
Please get help. If you don’t have friends or family to turn to, there are definitely people in your area who can help. If you don’t have that information yet from Kristi, you can email me or her and we will do whatever we can to help you.
I promise you: there is help. You do not have to abort your baby, and you don’t have to go through this alone.
I will be praying for you, your baby, and your boyfriend.
Sharni,
Thanks for sharing your story. I want to tell you something. Forcing someone to do something is not showing love. When you love someone you give them the freedom to make their own decisions. If your boyfriend is forcing you to do something against your will that is a form of abuse. Please contact Kristi so she can get you some help. You are not alone.You are strong and you can get through this. If you live with your boyfriend, I suggest leaving and going to a safe place. Perhaps with a family member or friend you trust. You are already a mom and you must do all you can to protect your baby. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi Sharni,
I’m here with Kristi and Cassy to tell you you don’t have to go through with an abortion. No one should make you do something you don’t want to do. If you’re in a situation you can’t easily get out of, I encourage you to give Alliance Defending Freedom a call – they can help you with legal issues and stop you from being forced by your boyfriends. Their number is 480-444-0020.
You are strong and can get through this. We’re all here for you and are happy to give you more resources and help. Know we’re praying for you.
Laura
Sharni,
I’m so sorry for the difficult situation you’ve been put into, it is so hard when the people you care about, like boyfriends or parents are putting pressure like that. I have a couple friends who have been in that situation, some of them who were in very abusive relationships, and it is so difficult.
But you don’t have to do this – YOU are the one carrying this little baby, you are the one who will get to feel the most incredible little flutters very soon, when your baby is kicking and swimming around inside mommy. If you choose to save your baby, you will get to hear their very own heartbeat, see the first time they open their eyes, and so many incredible, precious moments. No one, not a single person, can make you take your baby’s life.
It is so hard when you are being pressured, but please know an abortion will not solve anything. I have several friends and family members that were in very similar situations, everyone was pushing so hard for them to abort, and they finally did, right about at 8 weeks. I have personally seen the destruction it caused them – deep depression, substance abuse, nightmares, and sometimes difficulty being able to get pregnant again when they did want to be. None of their boyfriends stayed with them after the abortion, even though all of them had said they were going to marry my friends/relatives, and study after study has found that couples who choose abortion are much more likely to split up afterwards.
Your boyfriend needs to want what is truly best for you, instead of pushing you into a decision that has lifelong emotional and physical consequences, and it is not loving to push you to do something you know is wrong.
I can only imagine how hopeless this feels, but you DO have a choice, you can save the life of your little baby, and there are lots of people who will help you. If you want, I can put you in touch with some women who have been exactly where you are, and know what it’s like after the abortion. They work specifically with girls in your situation, and I know they would love to talk to you. I can also put you in touch with some of my friends who did choose to let their babies live, and they can tell you how much joy their precious little child has brought them, and that life is worth it.
You aren’t alone, just reply to this message if you want me to put you in touch with people who can help. You can do this! And you are the ONLY person who can save your baby, but you won’t have to do it alone.
Just saying, I know most of you are religious and that’s basically why you don’t approve of abortions, but there are ATHEISTS that do not approve of it at all, just like me. 🙂 Very nice article.
~Jen
please mothers out there give your child a chance to live life.
go on youtube and search a video called “to be born”
this video is 14 min long and it changed my life forever
Yes! That is a great film! People should definitely watch it. It gives a perspective that may be hard to get otherwise.
Really great blog here! I am really feeling pulled towards helping women who are considering abortion to understand that there are other options. I really have no clue on how to get started though. I live in a pretty conservative southern town where this subject is very taboo. I am also a stay at home mom of twin infants so I do not have a lot of free time to travel around to help. I guess I am just looking to see if you are following your heart on this topic in any other ways besides your blog. Thanks!
Hi Sarah,
Thanks for sharing your heart! I agree that this issue is so important for us all to get involved in the ways that we can – and that won’t be the same for everyone. What matters is that we take a stand and do SOMETHING =). I’m also a stay-at-home mom of two (one is due this summer), so I don’t travel much myself at all. If your town has a pregnancy resource center, you can always volunteer there – even through diaper drives, making blankets or finding really nice ones at thrift stores, or of course through counseling, receptionist work, etc. but that would obviously put you out of your home.
There are also pregnancy hotlines that you can volunteer to answer from home. Basically, at certain hours that you choose, the calls will transfer to your cell phone and you’ll talk to women considering abortion. You could look up Care Net, Virtue Media, or Option Line http://www.optionline.org/ if you’re interested and they may be able to point you in the right direction.
If you like to write, I’d encourage you to submit a guest article to Live Action News & Opinion (www.liveactionnews.org). I write for them, and we often print guest articles. You can email an article to editor@liveaction.org.
Here are also a few articles that discuss projects you may be interested in helping out on:
http://liveactionnews.org/pretty-ugly-a-new-project-to-expose-planned-parenthoods-deception/
http://liveactionnews.org/conquer-summer-boredom-10-pro-life-ways-to-keep-busy/
http://www.clmagazine.org/article/index/id/OTM0Mw/
http://www.sba-list.org/suzy-b-blog/10-steps-get-involved-pro-life-movement
http://www.abbyjohnson.org/get-involved/
http://newevangelizers.com/blog/2013/05/24/10-ways-to-get-involved-in-the-pro-life-movement/
Hope that helps! Thanks, Sarah!
Kristi
Here’s another GREAT idea you can do from home: http://liveactionnews.org/using-yahoo-answers-to-share-pro-life-truth/. Basically, you answer questions from people considering abortion and try to help them choose life. An AWESOME thing to do!!
Jenna ,I’m an atheist and i choose LIFE over abortion. I think you just want to make up excuses and hate religious people since you lack a conscience just saying! 🙂 GROW UP!
hi to all, im 25 years old. my girlfriend was 16weeks pregnant if im not mistaken, she really want to abort our baby since the day we knew that she is pregant (2 month ago). i barely disagree and had a lot of fights and misunderstanding regarding that, i really want her to let our baby live, but she didnt want to, it was our second baby.. our first was 6 months old now, and she is currently 4months pregnant now, she has a lot of reasons in her mind against our second child she says she cannot handle to have a second baby so far because the difficulty of having one right now. I tried my very very best to convince her not to abort our second angel but we end up fighting. anyone here please help me regarding to this. TIA
hi to all, im 25 years old. my girlfriend was 16weeks pregnant if im not mistaken, she really want to abort our baby since the day we knew that she is pregant (2 month ago). i barely disagree and had a lot of fights and misunderstanding regarding that, i really want her to let our baby live, but she didnt want to, it was our second baby.. our first was 6 months old now, and she is currently 4months pregnant now, she has a lot of reasons in her mind against our second child she says she cannot handle to have a second baby so far because the difficulty of having one right now. I tried my very very best to convince her not to abort our second angel but we end up fighting. anyone here please help me regarding to this.
Hi Joe,
I’m so, so sorry you’re in this situation. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to try to figure out what you can do. And it’s not easy for guys in this situation, but it does matter that you are fighting for the life of your child. It’s good that your girlfriend hasn’t gotten an abortion yet (at least it sounds like she hasn’t).
Maybe it would help her if you could point her to some people who could support her and help her understand why an abortion is not the answer and also see that she can get the help she needs. Here is a site, Option Line, where you can enter your zip code or city and find pregnancy help centers in your area: http://www.optionline.org/get-help. (I’m also to help you find one if you want to tell me where you live.) These centers have great people at that are really helpful to women and help them talk through their thoughts and situations and also help them find anything they need – like support, medical help, material supplies for a baby, etc. They will often also give a free ultrasound which helps a lot of women see their unborn baby and choose to keep the baby. Image Clear Ultrasound and Save the Storks are also two mobile pregnancy “centers” that provide ultrasounds for free: http://icumobile.org/site/ and http://savethestorks.com/. It depends where you live, but they may have a mobile ultrasound bus in your area. Your girlfriend is already almost halfway through, so hopefully with support she can make it the rest of the way.
You could also encourage your girlfriend to find out what abortion really is. Since you guys already have a baby, you know that any unborn baby is really, truly a child and part of both of you. She could watch “To Be Born” on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_C-jBMOJaI or “The Silent Scream” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gON-8PP6zgQ. To Be Born shares about abortion from an unborn baby’s perspective, and The Silent Scream is an actual abortion that shows how a baby tries to escape inside the womb.
You could help her realize that, typically, when you have an abortion this late (after 12 weeks), the abortion is a D&E. It’s a really horrible type of abortion, and babies close to the age of 16 weeks are scientifically proven to experience pain. She could read what a doctor who used to do abortions says a D&E is. A lot of women don’t realize what actually happens during an abortion: http://liveactionnews.org/a-medical-doctor-and-former-abortionist-describes-the-de-abortion-procedure/.
She could also read stories of women who had abortions and what they think now:
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm?start=35
http://silentnomoreawareness.org/testimonies/index.aspx
http://ireport.cnn.com/topics/921603
The point is that abortion often effects women in bad ways afterwards, sometimes years later. And women aren’t told this. They aren’t told about the guilt, depression, anger, and regret – not to mention the possible physical problems. This can definitely happen when the woman has another baby – like your girlfriend who already has a baby and knows that unborn babies are babies just like the one you already have… You can look up online “what a baby looks like at 16 weeks” or “development of a 16 week unborn baby” and help her see what all your baby is already doing at this point.
Finally, as a guy you can try to legally stop her from having an abortion. I’ll be honest and tell you that the law usually doesn’t side with dads, but I think it is always worth a try – that way you did everything in YOUR power to save your child. There are several legal organizations that may help you at no cost. You can contact Alliance Defending Freedom (https://alliancedefendingfreedom.org/legal-help), the Thomas More Law Center (http://www.thomasmore.org/contact), the ACLJ (http://aclj.org/get-legal-help), Liberty Counsel (http://www.lc.org/index.cfm?pid=14097) or the American Freedom Law Center (http://www.americanfreedomlawcenter.org/contact) and see if they can help you try to get a restraining order against an abortion or give you other advice.
Again, I’m really sorry, Joe. I’d be happy to talk with your girlfriend if you think she would talk. And I’d be happy to give you more ideas if you’d like more. But try some of these things, if you can, and I’ll be praying that she will choose life for your child. You are a GOOD DAD to fight for your child’s life, and if she ends up choosing abortion, please consider contacting Silent No More or a pregnancy help center to get counseling for yourself or just to find someone to talk it all through with. For now, do what you can to stop the abortion, and keep on being a good dad!
Blessings,
Kristi
Also, Joe, it sounds like your girlfriend is probably very overwhelmed with the thought of two babies. It may really help her to talk to someone at a pregnancy help center, like I mentioned, who could give her a free ultrasound so she could see this new baby and also talk her through the things she’s worried about. Some pregnancy centers or local pro-life groups (you can look up “pro-life groups in Denver” or whatever city you live in) have volunteers who will provide childcare, for example. I doubt you would want to give your baby up for adoption, but even that is better than death through abortion, and today, people can handpick the parents who will raise your child. Maybe if she understands how horrible abortion is and that there is help out there, she will change her mind. You could also point her to Embrace Grace (http://www.iembracegrace.com/) for stories of other women or resources that may be able to help her. There is also Teen Mother Choices International (I’m sure she’s not a teen, but they usually have good support networks and ideas for women who need support.) http://www.tmcint.org/
Howdy! I know this is sort of off-topic but I had to ask.
Does managing a well-established website like yours take a
lot of work? I’m brand new to blogging but I do write in my journal on a daily basis. I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my own experience and
feelings online. Please let me know if you have any suggestions or tips for new aspiring bloggers.
Appreciate it!
I’d suggest linking to and writing about stories that established websites (much more established than mine) cover. Write your own unique take on it, or write about why you agree/disagree and how you can add to their perspective. Also, consider submitting some of your articles for guest publication on well-known sites or other blogs. Perhaps start a Twitter account or a Facebook page. You can always check out Pinterest for articles on blogging success tips. Hope that helps! =)
I blog often and I truly thank you for your content.
This great article has truly peaked my interest. I’m going to book mark your site and keep checking for new information about once a week. I opted in for your RSS feed too.
I do accept as true with all of the ideas you have presented in your post.
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May just you please prolong them a little
from next time? Thank you for the post.
[…] No explanation at all. Try this 71-page report full of explanations. Or these reasons. You could even take a look here for more resources backing up the pro-life position (including a […]
I am 16 years old and i have watched my bestfriend have an abortion it was the hardest thing in the world for her…she became pregnant with her boyfriends child and he told her he didnt want it..she told him that its her decision and that she wasnt getting rid of it…i watched her come to my house almost everyday for two months with tears and torn cloths and bruises EVERYWHERE. She refused to give up her baby…Then things got worse…She broke up with him and he went crazy he didnt want anyone to know that he was a father..so one day she went home and her parents left to go out for dinner, her now ex boyfriend came to her house and began yelling again. He was so mad he grabbed her and drug her out of the house and into his car. He took her to the abortion clinic and told her if she refused he would get her back when she came out…she went with the doctor and did what he said…even though it was against everything she wanted to do…after it was all done she called me and i couldnt understand a word she said..i told my mom she needed me and we contacted her parents. I went over to her house and sat with her while she constantly cried….for days, A week later i found out i was leaving to go back to my moms now that summer was over and i got a call from her mother….She had killed herself. All because of him.. it made me the maddest person in the world so i traveled back for her funeral and at her funeral i promised her that i would NEVER EVER under any circumstances let anyone forget her and her bravery. She went through hell and back for that baby and still got it taken away from her. R.I.P Alyssa Marie. Ill always love you!
Abortion is terrible. Im doing an abortion essay right now. Thanks for your site!
[…] not to have an abortion. (For two more lists of reasons not to have an abortion, go here and here, here, and […]
I am 100% against abortion to me it is really a useless thing to do in this world. Guys help me out of this My girl friend loves me and i love her too it happens she got pregnant of my child and she decided to abort the child but i told her that it is impossible to do that maybe after my dead body i told her that i am more than ready to take care of the child and herself but she insisted that she have to do that explaining that she do not want to disappoint her parents stating that her parents loves her so much but i keep on insisting but she at ed told me that she will kill herself if i keep insisting i hereby need your advise on this please.
Hi Joseph. I’m so very sorry for the situation you’re in. How tragic. I’d like to direct you to an article I’ve written that gives ideas to fathers when their wife/girlfriend is thinking of abortion. Here it is: http://liveactionnews.org/abortion-and-men-whats-a-father-to-do/. The article is full of links to helpful information as well as legal organizations that may be able to help you. I would definitely encourage you to contact a pregnancy resource center or a legal organization since you are in a difficult situation with your girlfriend threatening suicide. Of course, we don’t want your girlfriend or your child to lose their lives, so I’d encourage you to reach out and get help. Also, parents are often much more accepting and helpful than girls think they may be, especially when they have a loving relationship with their daughter. Some girls have abortions without telling their parents only to realize years later that their parents would have supported and stood by them. Perhaps your girlfriend would be willing to talk to her parents? Often pregnancy resource centers will facilitate or help with a discussion like this if a third party would be helpful in this hard situation?? Anyway, please let me know if you have questions or if I can do more to help. However, I would certainly recommend that you get help from a counselor at a pregnancy center or someone at a legal organization (both are listed in my article) since you’re dealing with abortion and suicide here.
I don’t know what to do. My cousin found out she’s pregnant and she wants to abort it. She’s scared about what her family is going to say and she’s also not ready. But I don’t know how to convince her not to. She says she has to abort it but Shes scared as well. Her boyfriend is no support and is telling her to go to a clinic to get rid of it. I want her to really think about it. Even if I know its her choice I feel like I need to tell her mom so she can get the best advise. Her mom. Maybe I can save her from making such a terrible dessision!
She’s 20
Hi Maria,
Thank you for writing – and thank you for caring so much about your cousin and her baby. I’m also going to email you, to make sure you get this message. Many girls are scared when they are still dealing with the reality of being pregnant. It’s a natural feeling, but many girls who rush to get an abortion end up greatly regretting it. You know your cousin, and I would encourage you to say what’s on your heart. If you pray, pray that God would give you the words to say. You care about her, so let her see how much you care about her and want to help her make the best choice. Being scared is not a good reason to kill a child. Not being ready for a child is not a good reason to kill a child. I know you know this, and maybe you can help your cousin see that her baby does not deserve to die because she’s scared and not ready. That’s very sad that her boyfriend is acting like that…she definitely needs to talk to some other people. A lot of guys are also scared or have other reasons for pushing abortion. But your cousin will live with an abortion forever. I actually talked to a girl who was also 20, I believe, whose boyfriend wanted her to get an abortion. She decided to at least go get an ultrasound (many pregnancy centers will give your cousin one for free) and hearing the baby’s heartbeat entirely changed her mind! I will post what she wrote for me in another comment so you can read it. Maybe let your cousin see what that girl says. Her boyfriend ended up coming around and loving the baby…she was a girl named Sarah Rose =) Also, yes, I would tell your cousin’s mom if her mom wouldn’t want her to get an abortion. Right now, she needs people who are strong around her, helping her see that she doesn’t have to give into her fears. There is a little baby – her little baby – that is alive, and moving, and just waiting to come out and have a beatiful life. There are so many people who could help your cousin. I’d urge you to read or look through these three articles I’ve written: http://liveactionnews.org/abortion-and-men-whats-a-father-to-do/ and http://liveactionnews.org/what-to-do-if-your-boyfriend-wants-you-to-get-an-abortion/ and http://liveactionnews.org/10-reasons-not-to-have-an-abortion/. They will give you info on how to find pregnancy centers in your area – or email me and I’ll help you find one that does free ultrasounds. They will give you info you can share with your cousin – perhaps she may want to read some of it… But read those or look them over, and I think you will find some of it helpful for your situation. So yes, you are thinking good. Tell family if they can help save her from this decision. Be strong for her and her baby. And act now, even if it’s scary for you. Ask me anything you want…I’m here to help. And maybe also have your cousin read some stories of girls/women who’ve had abortions and regretted it. Those stories are in my articles – one of the websites is called Teen Breaks. You may want to check out Stand Alone Girl for help, Virtue Media, Embrace Grace, or a book you can get on Amazon called “A Bump in Life.” Those ones have encouraging, inspiring, and amazing stories from girls in similar situations to your cousin who gave life to their baby. Actually, I have “A Bump in Life” and will send it to you or your cousin if you give me an address. Maybe she would at least agree to read it and get a free ultrasound before she has an abortion? Let me know what you need!!!
Here, Maria, is the comment from the other 20 year old girl who kept her baby:
I know your scared. I was so scared and my ex wouldnt even let me tell my friends. I felt so alone, but when I finaly told them I got so much support and my best friend even went with me to tell my parents. Sometimes you need that buffer. … I would at least listen to your baby’s heart beat. That literly chanced my mind completly. …
I even went with my ex-boyfriend (the father of my daughter) to the first appointment to get an abortion. But as soon as I heard her heart beat I knew I couldn’t do it. My boyfriend pressured me but I knew that no matter what even if I gave her up for adoption at least she would be alive. … I didn’t want my mom to know either and I hid my pregnecy from my parents actually till about a few weeks ago. (I’m 6 months pregent now). It didn’t go well, so I understand how hard it is. I’m not even on speaking terms with my parents. But atleast I know that my daughter will have my love no matter what. My ex is bearly in the picture only coming around when he feels like it. The are places that can help you. my advice would be to at least hear your baby’s heart beat. Belive me it is probley the most amazing thing I have ever exsperinced and the reason I am now going to raise my daughter on my own with out my parents or her dad. …
(The baby’s dad ended up changing his mind and becoming a good dad =)
My gf and I found out she was pregnant (there were no real signs, a total accident) and went for a private scan (loads of pictures and videos) to discover she was 11 weeks she was fine for a day or so and now as we have a 2 yr old and 6 month old, along with 2 teens wants an abortion (excuses wrong timing and too soon and we won’t cope) I have tried to show her the reality of it, and am willing to have a sabbatical from work to be a stay at home dad, but she wants an abortion…..Ideas how do I stop her…???? I would be devastated if she did this. She is now 14 weeks, and it is wrong and sick.
Hi David,
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. That sounds so hard. Good for you for trying to do what you can – I am always so proud of dads who try their hardest and do all they can to save their babies’ lives. I’d really urge you to read this article: http://liveactionnews.org/abortion-and-men-whats-a-father-to-do/. It’s called “What’s a Father to Do?” and I wrote it to talk guys through what to do when their wife or girlfriend wants to get an abortion. Please read it and let me know if you need more info. I’m here to help. Also, consider telling your girlfriend what happens in an abortion at 14 weeks and having her face the facts. You guys already have children – she knows what children are like. Perhaps she could imagine a second trimester abortion happening to one of those little ones that she already knows and loves. It’s no different. Here’s an article where a former abortion doctor talks about a popular form of abortion used at 14 weeks: http://liveactionnews.org/a-medical-doctor-and-former-abortionist-describes-the-de-abortion-procedure/. The baby’s bones are too strong for the baby to be suctioned apart, so the abortion used at 14 weeks and later is exceptionally gruesome and cruel. Also, is there anyone in your girlfriend’s life she might listen to? Her mother, sister, best friend, etc? You could consider involving them. I know a guy who that worked for before…at first, his girlfriend was mad, but her mom or sister helped her keep the baby. Or see if she will agree to let you take her to a pregnancy resource center and hear what they have to say. (I talk about that in my article.) Sometimes a third-party opinion is helpful, and they have plenty of facts about women and abortion to offer. They can tell her what happens to many women (and many relationships) after abortion. They can inform her of the risks to herself, which are definitely worth considering at any point – but have her ask about risks in the second trimester. Let me know if I can be of help in any way. I’ll be praying for you all. ~Kristi
I have a friend who wants to commit an abortion and she is 12 weeks pregnant.
What should I do to tell her that she shouldn’t?
I’m Prolife
Hi Kasey, Thanks for contacting me here. I’ll be emailing you as well. First, thank you for being willing to give the truth to your friend: we all need friends like you! I’d do your best to get her to see an ultrasound of her baby and hear the baby’s heartbeat. One girl I talked to, who was considering abortion but ended up changing her mind, gave this advice to a teenage girl who was also considering it: “I would at least listen to your baby’s heart beat. That literly chanced my mind completly. … As soon as I heard her heart beat I knew I couldn’t do it. My boyfriend pressured me but I knew that no matter what even if I gave her up for adoption at least she would be alive. My advice would be to at least hear your baby’s heart beat. Belive me it is probley the most amazing thing I have ever exsperinced and the reason I am now going to raise my daughter on my own with out my parents or her dad.” You can contact OptionLine http://optionline.org/ or Pregnancy Line http://pregnancyline.com/ to find a pregnancy resource center near you. Many of them offer free ultrasounds to girls like your friend. If you have trouble finding one, let me know, and I will try my best to find one. There are also awesome, really comfy buses (you can look up Save the Storks) that offer free ultrasounds.
You could also consider involving anyone else who could help your friend change her mind. Her parents? Pastor? Boyfriend? Other friends?
Show your friend real information about what abortion is, and what it does to the baby. It can be really difficult to hear, but facts are important. I’ll refer you to this website that’s not fully completed, but has information on a D&E abortion. This is likely the kind your friend would have to have, because she’s 12 weeks along: http://whatisabortion.net/de-abortion/. Here’s a doctor’s description of a D&E abortion: http://liveactionnews.org/a-medical-doctor-and-former-abortionist-describes-the-de-abortion-procedure/. Your friend should know these facts. She should also know that some medical studies show that babies at her baby’s age already feel pain and fear. They have been documented literally swimming away in the womb from abortion instruments, while their heart is racing.
Here’s another medical description of an abortion of a baby near your friend’s baby’s age: “The clip begins with an ultrasound of the fetus (girl) who is about to be aborted. The girl is moving in the womb; displays a heartbeat of 140 per minute; and is at times sucking her thumb. As the abortionist’s suction tip begins to invade the womb, the child rears and moves violently in an attempt to avoid the instrument. Her mouth is visibly open in a “silent scream.” The child’s heart rate speeds up dramatically (to 200 beats per minute) as she senses aggression. She moves violently away in a pathetic attempt to escape the instrument. The abortionist’s suction tip begins to rip the baby’s limbs from its body, ultimately leaving only her head in the uterus (too large to be pulled from the uterus in one piece). The abortionist attempts to crush her head with his forceps, allowing it to be removed.”
Kasey, it can also be helpful to show your friend the positive facts of fetal development. She can see how very human and alive and valuable her child is. I’d recommend the Endowment for Human Development: http://www.ehd.org/. They have AMAZING videos, photos, and facts. Here’s the image gallery on the site: http://www.ehd.org/prenatal-images-index.php.
Finally, I’ll give you the links to three websites that are often very helpful to girls considering abortion as well as four articles I wrote to help people learn why abortion is not a good choice. (You can ignore the titles of my first two articles…I’m giving them to you or your friend for the information and resources in them.)
1) Stand Up Girl
2) Teen Breaks
3) Embrace Grace
4) http://liveactionnews.org/what-to-do-if-your-boyfriend-wants-you-to-get-an-abortion/
5) http://liveactionnews.org/abortion-and-men-whats-a-father-to-do/
6) Ten Reasons Not to Have an Abortion: http://liveactionnews.org/10-reasons-not-to-have-an-abortion/
7) Ten Amazing Things Babies Do Before Birth: http://liveactionnews.org/10-amazing-things-that-happen-to-babies-before-birth/ (Your friend’s baby is already doing all these things since the baby is already 12 weeks old!)
Let me know what I can do to help you! I’m praying for you to have the strength and the words you need!
Hugs,
Kristi
hello,I just got encouraged by reading this,I’m a Nigerian student presently in my 4th year in a university of technology,I just found out this past Monday that am 3weeks pregnant.
my bf doesn’t want d baby but have been trying so hard to convince him that we should keep it,almost everyone around me has advice me to go for an abortion but i still insisted on keeping d baby,now seeing this just makes me happy that some people still think d way I do.
pls I need people ready for adoption of my unborn baby living in Nigeria because I really cannot go through this alone without d supports of my bf and I can’t tell my mom.
Hi Esty,
Thanks so much for writing here. I will be emailing you, too! Wow…so proud of the choice you have made to keep your baby even with so much pressure to abort your little one. You are strong mother, and a strong woman. I will be praying for you, and I know others will be praying for you, too. And yes, you are SO right that there are MANY others who think the way you do. I think you would like the website http://www.EHD.org. It will show you how your baby is developing at every age – with pictures, videos, and great information. Also, check out http://www.standupgirl.com and http://embracegrace.com/blog/ to read stories of other women who chose life for their children in difficult situations. You are not alone!! I am asking some people to help me find support for you in Nigeria…hopefully a pregnancy resource center. I will let you know as soon as I find out. THANK YOU for standing strong. Please write as much as you want; I am here for you in any way I can be. Also, check out this other article about what to do when you are being pressured by your boyfriend (or anyone) to get an abortion: http://liveactionnews.org/what-to-do-if-your-boyfriend-wants-you-to-get-an-abortion/. At the end of the article, you will see the story of a girl around your age in America who was being pressured to get an abortion by her boyfriend. She didn’t think she could tell her parents either; but you will read what convinced her to save her baby. Let me know how I can help, and I will get you any support info I find out soon! Hugs, Kristi
I just sent you another email with contact info for a lady named Julie who is trying to find someone in Nigeria for you. Let me know if you don’t get my email. =)
Esty, I sent you another email with a list of pregnancy centers in Nigeria who can help you, help with adoption, and help with other things you might need. Let me know if you don’t get the email. You can also contact OptionLine anywhere in the world for a live online chat or texting. They will help you find resources and people in your area to help: http://optionline.org/.